Even when we’re young, we sometimes forget things. Later in life, most of us have a good recall of things past with only occasional lapses. Then there are other folk who are forever forgetting things and whose memories keep on slipping away…

That could be one of the indicators of Alzheimer’s progression. Another might be when our partner doesn’t ‘connect’ what they see or hear in the context of the present time and place. Sadly, they also may not be able to understand what was said or experienced just a few minutes, even seconds, before….

As a partner, you will need, as I did, to learn how to cope with some unexpected reactions to everyday events; to develop skills and techniques that enable you to keep your cool and be incredibly patient and resourceful, as you start your walk with a partner on that dementia road. Those early stages, well, they’re actually the hardest parts. Disbelief….

You can’t believe it. Surely, it’s just old-fashioned forgetfulness! Sometimes it’s hard not to be angry, upset, even sulky, when it all gets so complex. All you wanted was the shopping list which you are sure your partner was writing yesterday! Where is it? What was on it, anyway? C’mon! Tempers get a bit ragged on both sides. How many more times do I have to tell you? Does that sound familiar?

If you are like me you may be blaming yourself. Like: I know I am impatient; I also forget things; I’m just as much in the wrong here. Maybe you are at fault – you need to find out! Chances are you’ll have to admit it’s not just you and accept there is a relationship problem. The forgetfulness and misunderstandings persist and tempers on both sides become frayed, often.

Before one of you becomes totally unpleasant, take time to sit quietly and think through how your partnership is going. Next, you’ll need to have a private yarn with your children or, if there are none, a best friend. Make a little list of the activities and issues that concern you. Next, you should discuss those issues with your doctor. The doctor will undoubtedly refer you and your partner to a specialist.

Now your ingenuity, love and patience will be stretched, yet again. But, at last, you will know what’s happening and you will see that there is a way forward for you both. And you must go ahead. Some of the resources I have itemised on this site might also help you make a start.

You will find the way to negotiate your way through those early investigative phases…it isn’t easy; you have begun to accept that your partner is no longer the same person in these recent months/years. They are, somehow, the same yet different; but the big thing, your love, remains.

Despite the multitude of disturbing aspects, you will finally understand and accept that almost everything in your life is changing. You will also discover how to enjoy as much happy time together as possible. You will find how to manage, because now you know there is a way, albeit a different way, to continue your journey together.

Along that caring way, tough as it can be, I hope you’ll also find joy in the myriad of activities that you can share, and which will enrich you both. It’s true, little things do mean a lot….