This site was started in 2018 as sort of therapy for me and a way to support other ‘eldermost’ folks who may also be struggling to find information and support as they start a new, probably unplanned and now separate, lifestyle.
It is a place to share, plan and cope with that changing, sometimes lonesome, way of life which, because of an illness or condition like Alzheimer’s, requires couples to live apart, and ultimately perhaps totally alone.
‘Aged Care’ and ‘Ageing’ are not just words….they are processes that can be daunting and stressful…but not without some hope for us who are involved……we can recover our dignity and and find ways to cope.
The time may come for you to have to live separately as it did for us, and the answers to “when, where, how, and at what cost” can unexpectedly become an almost insurmountable complexity for an ageing partner; a task even more daunting when financing the move, and the rules, community standards and the politics keep rapidly changing!
This site came into existence because of those needs. And also for me to find an outlet for my grief, to give me a focus, to discover more about Alzheimer’s and to find some hope that I might, somehow, emerge from my sadness, despair and loneliness during Dorothy’s time in care, and now, after her death.
To live at home and care for my wife affected by Alzheimer’s for as long as possible is where I started. It finished by finally accepting the need for her to get the care around the clock, seven days a week, at a level I could no longer offer.
Perhaps, here on these pages, you will feel and find and learn something of my journey and, on the way, also discover some internet resources to help you. Over time, I hope I can help you find some answers by sharing parts of my road well travelled!
My wife passed away in April 2021 after having been in residence at a nearby aged care facility in recent years. For most of that time I was able to visit her almost daily but this year the corona virus ultimately caused the facility to close its doors to visitors.
We were both Centrelink Age Pensioners and, although the material here is focussed for people like us, I hope other ‘elders’ of our age and situation will find something to interest and help them as we all walk this Dementia journey, and now beyond after her death.
I discovered on this journey that there was a need to help other men (like me) and women to find a place, online, that could offer them some resources, support and encouragement in a personal way. That’s what this site is about!
As you explore here, maybe you will find something that will give you an encouragement or a link to a site that will be helpful. Partners of those with Alzheimer’s might like to tell me what helped them cope.
There is a reply area below. Send me a note if you have any ideas for content, or want to share some insights. Maybe you are a carer for someone without computer literacy, if so, please let me know if this site is useful to you. Just use the form below: