And grey can be good, too. Even when it’s cold and grey, even old and grey! We do tend to associate greyness with oldness and coldness but, hey, that’s not fair, grey days help us to see and feel the differences in life’s climate. Although we can be ‘blue’ on some grey days that’s alright too, because it helps us anticipate and appreciate the sunny, bright, days, doesn’t it?

When you are feeing sad and not coping very well it’s so easy to slide into depression and a self-defining prophesy, especially when it’s a cloudy day. It’s even worse when you feel cold yourself too, and you just can’t seem to get warm. And more intense, too, if you are also coping with the shifting behaviour of a partner with the dementia we call Alzheimer’s. It’s then that you really might feel in need of a personal climate change!

But coping with change is ‘easier said than done’, isn’t it? Especially when you are both down, the greyness can become darkness and affect others in a family, and beyond. It may be easier to cope with this kind of personal climate distress if we recognise and react just as we would to the weather; perhaps by acknowledging the seasonality of our greyness, simply another period of transition. As we travel through these ups and downs during the seasons of life, there will always be moments of joy as well as sadness. So, we mostly learn to cope. We find ways to face the changes and deal with them and, in that process, discover how to embrace them.

Moving along that pathway takes time, patience, ingenuity, and a prayerful effort but, faced with the confronting reality of a partner’s cognitive disability, acceptance doesn’t have to mean it’s winter forever. In that sort of cold, wet, miserable, wintertime of life, one of the coping strategies is to consider and accept this idea of seasonality – and to look for the Spring and learn the lifestyle and activities that suit the season.

When we can’t go outside for a walk alone or together (the best antidote I know for the blues!) we become ‘adaptable’ and find other activities to share. With some partners there will be ongoing and varied challenges, and I’ve previously written about a variety of appropriate physical activities that might also help with the emotional aspects. Being resourceful will certainly require carers to be mentally nimble and often use some ingenuity; finding a comfortable place to apply both will often actually not be as difficult or as good as a walk in the park!

It’s hard to beat that walk to gently stretch our muscles, cerebral and physical. Personally, even in the winter of our discontent, I still like to walk outside, appropriately rugged up and waterproofed! Although I must admit that sometimes I simply just look out through the window and rejoice at being home, safe and dry!

Life’s like that, eh? Grey day, grey hair, doesn’t matter, we can learn to cope with whatever mother nature throws at us. Might as well make the most of what we have and enjoy the company of others while we can, where we can and while we can.

There could be a bigger storm tomorrow or maybe the sun will shine again! It seems most of us have learnt to live each moment and we don’t waste time still worried about yesterday’s weather. Let’s look around and forward and discover which shade of grey suits you and yours, but remember it doesn’t always stay that colour, so get ready for the sunshine….