When we said our marriage vows, nearly sixty-three years ago, the concept of a lifetime seemed so far away. Yet in hindsight, it seems like yesterday! Now, with these notes, I need to tell you that my dear wife Dorothy has passed away. The brutal reality of her death is sharp, but the process really began some years ago when Alzheimer’s beckoned and we started the long road, as many others have and still do. I have actually missed Dorothy’s total presence for some years, even as I continued to be by her side as we travelled, and even though we saw the road ahead differently. I am sad, but through all those years we both remained true to the vow: “Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, for so long as you both shall live?”. I do.

I will continue to write a few lines every so often, as I continue this journey, alone now, but as always with the love of our friends and family around me and with a heart full of prayer and thanksgiving. Sometimes it’s hard to recognise all the good aspects of life – we can be side-tracked by only seeing the problems. Certainly, I’m as guilty as anyone for not always acknowledging all the positive and good parts of our lives. Yesterday, our daughter sent me an encouraging email which quoted some words from ‘Love and Suffering’ by Andrea Ortuno about how we can handle suffering. After reading that, I reaffirmed my own determination to “Remember the past but not live in it“. The Bible of course, is rich in words of comfort and support, far too many to quote here, but just one will serve the purpose at present: “I thank my God in all my remembrance of you” – Philippians 1:3. The coming days will test my resolve in lots of ways, just as it has and will for everyone who has grieved for a loved person – isn’t that everyone? I pray that, in this time of mourning I will accept Dorothy’s death as an inevitable part of the spectrum of life, and that it will deepen my love of all whose lives I touch along the rest of my way ……