I’ve just come back from a three-hour visit to Dorothy. I rode my electric bike there today because, being Saturday, the traffic was much less. I only ride when it’s fine weather, and never after 3pm during the week, as there are two primary schools on the route. I’m sure you can imagine the extra cars, kids, and bikes, not to mention all the trades people going home any time after 3pm! But weekends when weather permits is always a good day to ride. Tomorrow, Sunday morning, as normal. I will attend our local church, and weather permitting, I will ride to see Dorothy after lunch.
When I drive our car, I stay longer and sometimes have a meal with Dorothy but today was a really nice dry, sunny, autumn day – as Melbourne often has – and it was a short visit, as it will be tomorrow, if I ride. Out of the sun it is chilly, so today we went for a walk on the sunny side of the street outside the care home. It was good to be able to have some quiet time together, looking at the fine big gum trees along the way and hearing the occasional bird call. It was almost as good as our drive and walk at Blackburn lake reserve on a fine day earlier this week. We both enjoy the smell and sounds of the bush, without the discomfort of flies or mozzies! Sometimes I bring a thermos of tea from ‘home’ and we sit on one of the park benches and watch the ducks or just look at the ripples on the lake. We do venture to some other nearby parks, but this is my favourite, hardly a vestige of suburban life to be seen from the track around the lake!
I was a bit ‘down’ today, despite the fine weather, after a disturbed night. No need for that really, as the little pill my doctor prescribed usually sets me off……and I did, eventually, drift off, with a little ear plug connected to my bedside radio gabbling on about international current affairs on Radio National! Seems to work well for me – sometimes intensely interesting, sometimes rambling and soporific! If that doesn’t work, I switch to Classic FM with the same mixed results. As a result of my restless night, I woke late (shhh…after 9am) and with a slight headache. Never mind, a bowl of cereal and a piece of toast with a nice fresh cuppa solved that. And, I had a job to do this morning which helped me stir my stumps: drive over to my daughter’s house and pick up the newspaper from their driveway (they are away for the long weekend). The bonus is I get to do the crossword, and tomorrow and on Monday. That also means I can see the answers to the clues I couldn’t solve!
Just checked my emails and found a note from a friend whose wife had just had a fall and, although back home, managed to fracture her shoulder which is proving painful. Doubly so, and difficult, as my friend is experiencing a bad time with backache. Best I can do is send a cheery reply. Easy for me, but he will have a hard time for a few weeks. Makes me feel a lot better about Dorothy being in care as it reminded me that she actually had a minor fall there, recently, with no ill effects. The nurse phoned me at the time, as they always do if something unforeseen occurs, and the site doctor examined her thoroughly the next day, in my presence. If Dorothy had fallen at home, I would have been distressed and would have had all the hassles of getting her to a doctor or hospital. When I feel bad about our separation, I try to lift my spirits by remembering that she’s in better hands than mine! I guess it’s taking me a while to accept this separation, but I see it as an act of love on my part to ensure she is reaping the reward of all those years she unstintingly gave her love, 24/7, to me and to our children.
So, reader, be encouraged. Separateness can be an expression of love and, if you feel lonely and depressed, try to remember that we owe it to our lovely partners to embrace the reality of it all. I try hard to ‘put on the cloak of happiness and good cheer’ the minute I step out of my door. It ain’t easy. And it’s really hard at the other end – coming home to an empty home is, I find, the hardest. Today, I determined to write this piece for the web page as my escape route from idleness!
Tomorrow, well, that’s not here yet, so, ‘sufficient unto the day’. I have my purchased quiche for dinner tonight and, after that, let’s see what I can find that’s worth watching on the telly…………..