How often we’ve heard the expression ”chain of events”. It’s all about events that have happened, or that we anticipate will happen, which are all somehow linked. Sometimes the chain is broken, we lose the plot and don’t see the connections. Or maybe we can’t see how to mend the break, or we just don’t fit it all together again, and become tired or depressed, or both!

Or perhaps something happens which sets off a series of events that we didn’t expect. We are caught unawares and, ‘like a bolt out of the blue’, our lives are deeply affected. Fortunately, that’s not usually a permanent disruption, and we can get back to normality, whatever that is! But sometimes an event, or an action, changes the direction and our way of life forever, from that point forward.

Generally speaking, we Australians usually have a significant degree of control in the way our lives evolve. But unfortunately, poor health can may require significant changes to our way of life. Not only our own health, but someone who is close to us: partners, parents, children, or best friends. Even though you may be in tip-top condition, there is a good chance that your lifestyle could be changed by the health of someone near and dear.

The way we live our lives is frequently and firmly linked to the medical, physical, or emotional health of someone else, whether married or single. The flow effects of that connection can be the same whether it’s an involvement with a child, an adult, or even a more distant relative. Any illness can impinge on relationships, and certainly Alzheimer’s can be particularly challenging because it presents itself in so many different, often quite random ways.

This frequently changing behaviour of a loved one with Alzheimer’s is always challenging and debilitating for everyone involved. Their usual response, to what were previously normal patterns of life, now often change. Increasingly, their unexpected or variable reactions result in a higher level of stress to you, as the carer. Just being ‘on guard’ constantly is tiring and certainly not sustainable for extended periods. And it’s definitely more difficult to cope when we are older and more fixed in our lifestyle.

The message today, if that’s your scenario, is to stop and take stock of the mental and physical health of your own and your partner’s condition. Certainly, I did not, or want to, recognise the beginnings of my Dorothy’s changing behaviour, and maybe you are the same…. So, if you have an inkling of a problem, you could start by scanning through some of the useful internet links on this site to see some of the help that’s available.

But then you simply have to talk, one-on-one, to your GP. These days, doctors are more equipped to help and refer you for guidance. You’ll also need to share your concerns with your family members and perhaps a trusted friend. If you have even an inkling of concern, talk to your doctor. Make a start.

You cannot underestimate the importance and value of the connection between your own health and the person you are caring for. You need to keep fit, and also find ways to have some respite to ‘charge your batteries’!

The quicker you recognise the bigger picture, the sooner you’ll find the way forward for help, and to learn how to live a more balanced and happy life together, inextricably linked….