Several of my friends and contemporaries are now living in care homes and I try to visit them when I can. Upon the transition from our own home, we often have to leave behind some of our hobbies and interests. The most ‘portable’ activity to take, wherever we are, is the ability to read – books, magazines, or newspapers. If we have sight problems, talking books are just the thing, and for most of us there’s TV with enough channels to satisfy almost anyone!

In my visits to friends in a number of care homes nearby I’ve discovered many residents are happy to just chat with others in the lounge, or over their meals. Others are less ‘sociable’, for a myriad of reasons. For newcomers in an aged care facility, it may not be easy to integrate into an established group. Finding and then establishing rapport with kindred spirits doesn’t come easily for many of us at the best of times!

And some people are not easy to talk to or befriend. They may have become withdrawn and sad because of illness or a bereavement. Others are simply garrulous and incessant talkers! Most of us will negotiate our way around relationships in all sorts of encounters. But it does take time, often patience, and always a big dose of love. Some of us are not easy to get along with, wherever we are housed, any time.

Then, as we age, the number of long friendships keeps reducing. We find it does take some effort to form a bond with younger people whose early life experiences are so radically different to people like us. Many of us will have grown up into our teen years without a telephone, perhaps only a battery-powered radio, no computers, no TV; and the milk, the bread, the ice, and the groceries were all delivered to the door! I recall my uncle retiring, years ago, from his bread delivery job, never having driven anything but his horse-drawn bread-cart.

Changes in life are constant: our families, neighbours, schools, our work, and we often move to new residences. When we were younger, we could easily make new friends during those transitions. Later, it becomes difficult, and yet critical, to maintain and develop our friendship circle as it inexorably shrinks. We are often propelled into new surroundings, new people, and places. Those changes compel us to nurture our existing relationships, and not neglect our social and hobby activities and interests.

Here’s my plan, dear reader: to continue writing, reading, and travelling, to watch quality TV and listen to fine music. They are all able to be done solo – or with others, for as long as possible!

I am always amazed and stimulated by the diversified activities of my friends; one is writing her life story, another is making greeting cards, another is an avid user of talking books, another a crossword addict, and yet others are playing scrabble or cards. Yes, in retirement, a shared activity trumps everything,